I'll Pray For You

I'll pray for you, I'll pray for him or one phrase or another along these lines is one of the most common things we hear coming out of the mouths of believers.  It's not only directed at atheists, although that one is not only annoying but naive as well, but also at their own kind.  So what does this really mean?

Let's start with "I'll pray for you" when it's directed at an atheist or someone who belongs to any belief system other than that to which the speaker proscribes.  What they are really saying, especially to the non-believer, is "you are not one of us, essentially a bad person because of this who will burn in hell, but I hope you change your mind and participate in my delusion so I can like you again."  This is about the least sincere way of feigning concern that the believer can utter from their mouths.  Let's face it, they are just being subtly passive aggressive and asserting that the person they are speaking to is evil and only god can save them from the eternal burning fate that they obviously deserve for their lack of mindless faith in the absurd.  

One has to ask themselves, do these people actually think about what they are saying when they utter this phrase to the non-believer?  Do they really think that this will suddenly convert us?  Or perhaps they think that we will see this as anything more than the absurd statement that it really is?  What is even more amusing is when the believer tells the non-believer who is ill or going through a crisis, that they will pray for them.  Can they tell us they are doing anything more useless?  It always reminds me of Daniel Dennett being told by friends that they prayed for him while he was in the hospital being saved by the efforts of doctors and nurses and him later saying he had to resist the urge to ask, "Did you also sacrifice a goat?"

Do these people really think that it is their prayers that make a difference in situation like this?  Do they really give no credit to the doctors, nurses and specialists who spend their lives learning to save people? If so, how do these deluded individual rationalize that tens of thousands of starving people die each day, that children die of disease and worse, that others who are sick and in the hospital had people just as pious as them praying for their well being yet died all the same?  Seriously how self important and deluded can people be that they think that their god answers them and doesn't give a damn  about anyone else, their prayers or their loved ones?  Do they really think that the millions who die each year are insignificant, but that their petty wants are just soooo important to their god that their personal prayers are answered while the rest are ignored?  Honestly it's insulting and just shows how ignorant and self-centered these people are.  

Let's move on to the same phrase being directed at their friends who are believers.  I'm sure that one believer hearing that another equally deluded individual is praying for them is comforting, but what is really being said.  Honestly, what they are saying is "I feel bad for you, but I either can't really do anything of value to help, don't want to or simply don't give a fuck so I'll tell you I'm praying and pretend to look like a caring individual."  That's what it all comes down to.  It's nothing more than self aggrandizing mental masturbation that makes other people think that they care, when in reality they don't.  If they cared they would act.  

The truth is whether we are talking about religious friends, non-believers, starving kids in Africa or just about anyone in need of help or a cause in need of personal effort, when a believer says they will pray for them, they are simply saying they just don't care enough about the person or cause to actually do something of value or put themselves out.  If these people wanted to be honest, they would tell the sick relative the truth, I feel bad for you, but I'm powerless to help.  I can't afford to pay your doctors, don't have the knowledge to act and am basically useless in this situation.  Instead, they pretend that through their sheer will and desire that they will ask some imaginary friend in the sky to act on their behalf.  Same thing with starving kids in Africa - if they care so much, write a fucking check, join a group that actually goes there and helps or do anything that really makes a profound difference, but don't pray and lie to yourself that you are really doing something to alleviate their suffering because you are not.  You are making yourself feel better by lying to yourself about your own self importance regarding your nonexistent relationship with a mythological being.   It's pathetic.

If you want to live in a better world with less suffering and more loving people, stop praying and start doing something to make those changes come to fruition.  Start with yourself and become a catalyst for that change.  There are plenty of causes right there in the town where you live that will make the lives of the people around you better through the simple act of you actually doing something rather than praying.  There are homeless people, children in need of clothing, food and shelter, battered women and so many more people that really need help, not some self-centered idiot praying for them because they would rather not be inconvenienced.  There are causes that need your efforts, but that really is the issue isn't it?  The effort part and the fact that you don't care enough to put in that effort to effect change in the world is exactly why all you will do is "pray for them".  Until you actually get off your ass and do something, you saying you will pray for people is nothing more than a reflection of how little you care about anyone other than yourself.